


Admiral's Log

by jacquelee



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Community: gameofcards, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:18:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5251334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Admiral Janeway records a log about her imminent plan of changing the past and her reasons for this extraordinary step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Admiral's Log

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a challenge at [game of cards](http://gameofcards.livejournal.com) in which the objective was to tell a story through documents.

Admiral's log, confidential, Stardate 81283.2

I decided to keep this record of my actions now that my plans have been put into motion. If I fail, I am sure this log will be used as evidence in my court martial. And if I succeed… Well, if I succeed it will never have existed. 

This is mainly for myself, to bring order to my thoughts. I am not sure when all of this began, when I first started thinking about actually doing this, going against all my principles, against everything I have worked for my entire life. I think the very first time I heard about the device the seed was already planted. I already started thinking of what that would mean. 

What I could accomplish with it. At first, the thought crept up unbidden and I tried suppressing it, but then it grew stronger and stronger and I couldn't bear it anymore. I have a way to save them! To save her. 

To be completely honest to myself, the first few times I thought about really doing this, the idea alone of seeing her again was so overwhelming that I couldn't think of anything else. Yes, since then I devised a more elaborate plan, a plan that will save them all, that will keep my family together. 

But this initial thought is still there and it's still strong. I never imagined I would ever do anything like this, but now I cannot imagine not doing it. I never imagined my life without her and now that I've lived it, I do not want to go on like this. Not when there is even the chance of another way.

This is not because I blame myself for her death or any of their deaths. I know I could not have done anything then. I simply do not believe that the future, which is now the past and the present, would ever be worse with her still in it. I do not believe that my actions in this case will make the world a worse place. 

On the contrary. I do believe that one individual, one person is worth everything and trying to save one life, one person can only ever be a positive undertaking. I am attempting to rewrite history for the sake of life. For the sake of happiness. And I will not be stopped. 

 

Admiral's log, confidential, supplemental

Today is the day. After so many bumps along the road, so many setbacks, it is fitting that the day on which I will alter history is the day after the anniversary of my failure. That is what I've come to think of of our return to Earth. Failure. Because after all those years, after all those hardships, I couldn't save her. I couldn't bring her back. 

Not this time. This time I will bring all of them back. This time, there will be nothing in my way. There is nothing more important than this mission and I will not rest until I accomplished what I set out to do. 

I will bring my crew home. My entire crew.


End file.
